Thankfulness Cultivates Peace

The hospice nurse came over yesterday and lowered the dilauded from .6 to .4 mg per hour. Last time Rob tried .4 mg per hour it was too hard on his body and we had to up to .6. I noticed some withdrawals and he was more lucid than he has been in a few weeks.

About a year ago, Rob and I found out about this ministry that meets on Tuesday nights in Evergreen at what they call the Prayer Barn. They have seen many miracles and healings for cancer! Rob went twice to get prayer, and I have been up quite a few more times to get prayer for him. The people that run it and the people that go have quite a heart for Rob and Ari and I. They continue to pray for and believe in a complete healing for him. I decided to go last night, but before I left, he wanted to pray with me and with Ari and I. That was really cool because he's been too sedated to contemplate things, much less spend time with his Papa (that's what Rob calls his Heavenly Father :).

As soon as I arrived at the Barn I was greeted with hugs, smiles, and waves. They are a great bunch of folks that really love and care about us. Super blessing. I received lots of prayer and was able to pray for a few people as well. 

I got home late and gave Rob his last dose of cannabis oil, to make a total of 1.5 grams. He was at 4/5 of a gram for almost two weeks and then suddenly his body required a full 1.5 grams. It's a great thing, because the more cannabinoids he can take in, the more they can go in and work against the cancer. 

This morning he woke up and spent the morning talking over things with my parents and I. Now that he's more alert, he's been dealing with some of the feelings of fear and uncertainty. He wants to know that the oil is working. He wants to know that he's going to be okay. He wants to live so badly! I feel so sad when I hear him having to deal with these things. No 36 year old should have to contemplate these things :(

Philippians 4:6-7 was laid heavy on my heart for all the anxiety he was dealing with. I was able to spend some time praying with him and finding things to be thankful for. I was brought to tears when, as I was thanking God for things, I realized that Rob and I have a deep, true, agape love for one another that many don't get to experience even after many years of marriage. I realized that we wanted that in our marriage early on and God has blessed us with that. Love, true love, is a beautiful thing.

Philippians 4:6-7

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.