Rob's Sozo

On Monday morning a nurse came over to take out the PCA pump that administers the Dilauded. Because we didn't have the liquid prescription yet, she decided to wait and have another nurse come later that evening so that Rob would not run out of the Dilauded and go into a pain crisis. I left to meet my sister for lunch, and when I got home I ran upstairs to check on Rob and saw the PCA pump quite a distance from Rob. I got a little nervous when I realized he had taken the needle out of the port. I quickly called hospice and they sent someone over. Everything was fine, we just had to load him up on the liquid medicine and cannabis oil to get his pain under control. I don't understand much about the port because I always look away when it's getting "accessed" and "de-accessed", so I guess it was not as big of a deal as I made it out to be. They were more concerned about him going hours without pain medicine. As soon as the .4 mg of Dilauded and 1 gram of cannabis oil was administered, he went into a deep restful sleep. 

As Rob rested in deep sleep, I booked a flight for the courier to bring another 90 grams of cannabis oil. Earlier in the day, I was shocked to find that we were almost out of the first 90 grams in only 30 days. I shouldn't be too surprised, as he is at 4.5 grams of oil per day!

Rob has gotten pretty skinny the last month. He's been sleeping most of the time, and his eating has gone down the past couple of weeks. The first week or two on the cannabis oil, Rob really had the munchies and was eating quite a bit. The last two weeks, he hasn't been hungry. I talked to a lady who helped her mom come back from a severe case of bone marrow cancer and had gotten down to 80 pounds. She was able to help her restore her strength and it started with her drinking bone broth. I've become more comfortable making bone broth over the past year, so I immediately started a pot. A couple of days ago, I started having Rob drink that. I figured it is one of the most healthy things he can take in and it will give him the calories, minerals, fat, protein, and more. Since then, he's been eating more and drinking a lot of water and juice. I would like to see him get up and walk more so that he can continue to gain strength, but I'm encouraged to see him make this turn. Also, one of the nurses shared with him that more often when people die from cancer, it's not the cancer that kills them, but the fact that they aren't eating or drinking. That was empowering for me to know because I can do all I can to help provide nourishment and hydration to his body and do that in ways that he can take it in. He's been craving healthier things like vegetables over fried food! He is very cooperative and trusts me to know what I'm doing to take care of him. I'm doing the best I can and walking in such peace and direction from the Lord. 

Here is a picture of a glass of the bone broth I made him:

I have some praises to share. On the physical side I've noticed tumor shrinkage! Today as I was helping Rob to the bathroom, I got a good look at his back. As he's been getting skinnier, I've noticed the tumor protruding from his back, but today I didn't see it! I've also noticed that the left side of his chest isn't as swollen as it has been. 

Lately I've been contemplating things in my own heart. It is so sad what Rob is going through, and sometimes it can feel very far from myself ever facing such a thing, but in reality, any of us could face that or similar at any time. I've wondered what it would be like if the tables were turned. I know that Rob would be an absolutely amazing support and so loving and compassionate. But, I know that if I were going through what he's going through, above all else I would want to be at peace. Not peace that comes from my circumstance changing, but peace that is much deeper. A peace that would remain in the middle of a crazy circumstance. The very peace that Jesus felt as He slept in a boat that was getting violently tossed back and forth from a major storm . I started praying for this peace for Rob. I realize that once Rob is healed, if he doesn't have the peace, he doesn't get the full healing. A healing without peace would only change the immediate circumstance but would once again stir up fear and ask such questions like "how often do I need to get scanned" and "what do I have to do to secure my healing". I believe that God wants to do so much more than just heal him physically. I got to lay hands on him and pray over him this morning. I thanked God for loving Rob so much and I felt His heart for Rob. It was beautiful! Then I got to see Rob smiling a few hours later as he slept. I saw the peace of God resting on him.  I continue to stand on God's will for Rob to receive what the Bible declares: Sozo (to be healed, delivered, restored, made whole, set free!)